HOME TIME (post 7)
- Sammy Harris
- Sep 16, 2019
- 7 min read
Updated: Dec 16, 2019
Wednesday 20th March
Farewell Austin Hospital! After 2.5 weeks ‘trapped’ inside I cannot explain how excited I was to breathe some fresh air but unfortunately the first breathe I took I inhaled cigarette smoke as patients and visitors hovered around the hospital entrance smoking, it was disgusting!
Ryan and I had decided we wouldn’t tell anyone that I could potentially be coming home especially the kids as it wasn’t guaranteed, and we didn’t want to disappoint anyone if I wasn’t discharged. I cannot explain how excited I was to see my little family. At this point I had only seen Brody once since surgery and I hadn’t seen Millie for 9 days as she had been sick. As much as it broke my heart not being able to see her out of respect for the other patients a hospital is not the place for a baby with a cold.
My baby girl had grown up so fast in the 2.5 weeks I was in hospital. I missed her crawl and sit up unattended for the first time which brings me to tears every time I think about it. My mother in-law had been looking after both Brody and Millie while Ryan had been with me in hospital that day and Ryan went to get them as soon as we got home.
The house was filled with the most beautiful flowers, get-well cards and hampers our wonderful friends had put together not only for me but also for my family. A gorgeous friend had even created a ‘hospital bag’ for Brody and Millie full of toys and different activities to keep them occupied when visiting mama in hospital. During my entire 17 days away, Ryan never had to cook a meal from scratch. We are still so overwhelmed with how blessed we are to be surrounded by so many kind, generous and loving people that provided our family with fresh home cooked meals. I will be forever grateful to those that looked after my family for me in a time when I couldn’t.
As soon as Brody walked through the door his little face lit up and he said ‘oh mama, you home?’ I burst into tears and held him so tight and said ‘yes baby, mama’s home’. My little Millie girl nearly jumped out of my mother in-laws arms and just stared at me for a few seconds, touched my face and put her head on my shoulder (argh fighting back the tears as I write this), a memory that will truly stay with me forever.
Later that evening I experienced quite an emotional moment when getting into the shower as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I had lost close to 7kg in that time and for those of you that personally know me I was already quite petite and 7kg for anybody that is 5 ft 2 is quite a noticeable difference. My arms and hands were covered in bruises from the multiple cannulas that had been inserted and the daily blood tests. I still had the dark bruise from the angiogram around my groin and of course my shaved head. Who was this person I was looking at? My appearance was a true reflection of the journey I had been on but not the person I had become. I didn’t take any photos as I knew this image would stay in my mind forever and that was enough. Perhaps for this blog a visual for others would have been interesting however from this point I want to focus on my life after the stroke and the new perspective this journey has given me.
Falling asleep in a dark room without the noise of the hospital and lying flat on my back was bazaar my first night at home. 2.5 weeks of noisy machines, nurses waking me for observations and medical staff rushing to code alerts in the middle of the night had become my new normal. Although I struggled to fall asleep, words cannot explain the joy and relief I felt to be back in my own bed and to wake up and physically be with my family instead of saying good morning via Facetime was just amazing! It was so good to be home!
As I mentioned in my previous post we were fortunate to be offered 6 weeks of full time childcare for both Brody and Millie however, I had just spent 2.5 weeks away from them and the last thing I wanted was to not have them around for another 6 weeks. I knew that for my best recovery it was important that I got as much rest as I possibly could which is challenging with an energetic toddler and a teething baby, so we decided to utilise the extra care on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday’s.
Two days after being home my body was aching all over but particularly my neck and upper back, most likely from being seated up for 5.5 hours during surgery and of course spending so much time in a hospital bed. My body felt so out of place and I strongly felt I required a treatment to ensure my recovery was off to the best start possible. After some googling, I noticed that my preferred Osteo was no longer working at the clinic I had been to in the past, but I managed to track her down (stalker) and booked an appointment.
Friday morning, two days after coming home it was the morning of my Osteo appointment and whilst brushing my hair I noticed that my right hand was feeling extremely tingly. By the time I was in the car (Ryan driving) my hand had completely cramped up and I couldn’t move my fingers, it was the same as what I had experienced after the angiogram in hospital a few nights prior. Trying to keep my emotions in check I spent the entire 15-minute car ride attempting to wiggle my fingers. So many thoughts were going through my mind, is this going to be my new normal, did I do anything that may have triggered this, if this is going to happen regularly, I may never be able to drive again. There was a part of me that was relieved this happened before my Osteo appointment and not after as I would have always wondered if perhaps the treatment may have triggered it.
By the time we arrived I was starting to gain some movement back in my right hand, what a relief! As my Osteo was now practicing from a new clinic I was required to complete a new patient form, and this is when the emotions caught up with me. I attempted to pick the pen up with my right-hand, which is my writing hand and it had cramped up again. I used my left hand to place the pen in my right hand and writing position however when it came to write I couldn’t even draw a circle around ‘Mrs’. After a few deep breaths and an attempt at using my left hand I explained to the receptionist I was unable to complete the form and my Osteo met me in the waiting room. She could see I was distressed and rushed me into her room which is where I broke down. Absolutely shocked at what I had been through my Osteo helped me complete the form and I noticed immediate improvements in how my body was feeling after the treatment. By that afternoon the cramping had settled.
After a few attempts at home, I was struggling to successfully complete the exercise routine I had been given by the physio at the hospital. There were a number of reasons for this, one being the kids always jumping on me for cuddles or stealing my resistance bands and secondly I felt like I would really benefit performing the exercises in front of a mirror so I could ensure my technique and posture was correct. The following Monday we headed to our gym so I could really start focussing on my rehab in a safe environment. Ryan and I have been members of the YMCA gym at our local community centre for years, in fact its where we originally met. We were greeted by so many members expressing their concern and passing on their best wishes and welcoming me back, it was quite overwhelming. Just like myself, the gym for Ryan is a way to release stress and anxiety which he tried to utilise whilst I was in hospital to take his mind off what was happening however he found this extremely challenging as friends, staff and fellow members with the best intentions would constantly ask him for updates on my condition.
Before the stroke my training regime would consist of a short warm up, 5-10km run along the local bike tracks followed by an all over body strength session and cool down. As I hobbled into the stretching room, I felt very emotional as I physically couldn’t train ‘my way’. I felt flat for a few moments reflecting on how it didn’t feel fair as I know so many people that don’t enjoy running in fact they couldn’t think of anything worse but for me running was ‘my thing’, it was my outlet for my physical and mental health and it was exactly what I craved at this point. A few minutes of feeling sorry for myself I was now determined that I would run again and got stuck into my exercises which included heel raises, squats, crab walks, walking sideways, bridges and several stretches using a resistance band. After completing my new exercise routine, I decided to attempt the treadmill. I can still remember I started on level 2.3, I had to hold on with both hands and was constantly watching my feet and the position of my right foot. After only 5 minutes I was exhausted, and Ryan assisted me off the treadmill as I hadn’t developed the strength or coordination to be able to tackle any sort of step safely at that stage.
Coming home and living in my old environment with my new ‘condition’ I realised the importance of ‘slowing down’. I’m used to doing everything rather efficiently and I realised I was not able to keep up to my previous pace even with normal day to day life. There was an incident I remember clearly where in a rush to get off a bar stool at home my right leg got caught on the attached footrest and I hit the ground hard. I was lucky I didn’t cause any further injury to myself, but it was a reminder to take extra caution.
As I opted to go home rather than attend a rehab facility, I was assigned a physiotherapist through the Austin Health System. My first appointment was pre-organised and was made for Friday 5th April, my 30th birthday, not exactly how I ever envisioned I would be celebrating but at least I was here to celebrate. Before I had the stroke we had organised a party for the night of my 30th birthday however we decided to ‘post-pone’ (not cancel) when I was in hospital as we weren’t sure what my condition would be when the date came around.
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